Why Do My Prayers Go Unanswered?

It has taken a lot of processing this week to write this post.  The busy-ness of life took away some time, and the topic is difficult to consider.  I would bet donuts to dollars that everyone has felt disappointed after praying for help with something and then feeling like the prayer was not answered.  Hamilton asks a question we have probably thought but not voiced -  is God capricious?  The idea that God answers prayers with a yes, no, or maybe is not comfort for those in pain.  And in Matthew 21:21-22 we are told:

²¹ Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. ²² If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

 Wouldn't it be great to take this passage literally and get everything you need, everything you want?  If that is what you expect, you are always going to be disappointed with prayer.  Hamilton explains that not only did Jesus speak in stories and terms that made complete sense in that time, he also used hyperbole, exaggerating to get people's attention and make a point. He didn't really mean that the mountain would move any more than I am actually dying of hunger.

So, if this passage is not to be interpreted literally I wonder, why pray?  Why ask God for anything if I am not to have any expectation of outcome?  I get that God doesn't really need me to direct what needs to be done, but can't I have a little input?  Why exercise my free will and choose to pray?  What's in it for me?

For one thing, I think prayer is about building a relationship with God.  Just because I am in realtionship with God doesn't meant that everything is always going to be smooth sailing.  At some point in your life haven't you felt like Lieutenant Dan in the hurricane, asking for a showdown with God?  And yet, the act of prayer itself is faith-building.  Prayer is the expression of the faith that God hears me, God cares about me, and God is able to act in miraculous ways.

Another thing prayer does is remind me that I am not in control and cannot dictate how or when God responds.  It is incredibly difficult for immediate-gratification-control-freaks like me to trust and wait.  I know what is best, what I need, when I need it, right?  Trusting and waiting on God requires a sense of humility and even subservience that is laughable in our society.  We are all about action and research and empowerment, not patience and faith.

And prayer opens me up to seeing possibilities other than a burning bush as an answer.  It seems to me that most often, God answers prayer through people.  God calls us and sends us to one another.  Back to that dominion thing from the first week.  We do God's work on Earth, and not everyone gets a burning bush or fiery pillar.  So I need to be open to that and recognize the gentle response in the middle of the torrent. 

I still have a pretty big question.   I believe in prayer and that God always hears, cares and responds.  I believe that God can and does work miracles. And I cognitively know that by their very nature miracles are few and far between.  But I still don't know why one person gets a miracle and another doesn't.  Why I don't.  Maybe that is another part of the mystery, the questions that I need to learn to live with instead of answering. Here is a reminder for Admiral Chester Nimitz that God does not always act and move in our lives in the way we expect:

I asked God for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak that I might learn to obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.