Giving Up

It is Ash Wednesday, and as I mentioned last week we will not be meeting tonight, but we will be breaking bread together and celebrating a sacrament - Holy Communion. I thought about not posting this week, but it turns out I didn't have to look far for inspiration. I got the proverbial 2X4 to my head, and here is how the story goes:

I was talking to a single friend this week. She was excited that she had met a really nice guy a couple of weeks ago and looking forward to getting to know him. They had met for coffee a couple of times, chatted online, a casual and easy relationship so far. Then, out of the blue, he tells her that he just doesn't see them dating. Basically, in not so many words, he kindly told her that she just wasn't Christian enough for him.

Those of you who know me probably saw the hackles go up on the back of my neck, my lips curl back and heard that low growl beginning to rumble. That's what happened in my mind, so that the wolf in me could hunt him down and make him pay for hurting my friend. Wow! That is a really graphic image, probably the result of our vampire-werewolf obsessed culture. I suppressed the urges and tried to counsel my friend, telling her she really didn't want to be with a guy who made a judgment like that after just a couple of weeks. He probably needed to be black and white, strict, dogmatic and narrow minded. By the time we finished I think I had her thanking her lucky stars, seeing it as a good thing, and yet she was still willing to pursue a friendship with him.

I have to admit I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I had helped my friend over a rough spot. I knew this guy must be a lousy human being to be so mean to her. After all, who thinks they are a better Christian than the next guy? And right about then is when it happened. If you had been standing anywhere near me you would have seen me stagger when that darn hunk of wood caught me upside of the head. Thwack! I was being just as judgmental, and in some ways even meaner, than he was! Man! I really do hate it when my own words are wielding a 2x4 and looking for me.

How many times have I said that I believe in a God of change, who constantly reaches out to each one of us in ways that we will be able to understand, in ways that facilitate and encourage our response. So, if I really do believe that then why wouldn't God have reached out to this fellow in such a way that he will be able to be in relationship with God based on his own unique experiences? It isn't that his way is better or worse than mine, just that it's different. And that different just didn't mesh with my friend's understanding. (Sigh) Yep. There's a bite mark on my behind, too.

In the children's sermon this week our student pastor talked about fasting, or giving something up for Lent. As Methodists we don't always follow that practice but she encouraged all of us to try it. I had planned to give up my current go-to-when-I'm-stressed-food, thinking it would force me to actually deal with my feelings and help with my weight loss journey. But after the head-thwacking knocked some sense into me, my mind cleared and I realized I had other work to do. Then it came to me. I pulled out the purple bracelet and put it back on my wrist. A group of us had tried the Complaint Free World challenge a couple of years ago, and it felt like it was time to remind myself what it was all about. The challenge is to not complain, gossip or criticize for 21 consecutive days. On the way to 21 days, each time you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing you must switch the bracelet to the opposite wrist and start over again. It is tedious, frustrating and quite an informative exercise. if you would like more information check out this link:

http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/

Next time you see me I will have the purple bracelet on, and I will be trying to remember that different is not better or worse, in and of itself; that God reaches out to each one of us in unique ways; and that during this season of Lent I really need to work on contemplating more than just the daily details of life. That way I will be able to see the forest and the trees. And dodge the next 2x4.